02.26.09 | 42 Comments
The Domestic Violence Edition
In the wake of the Chris Brown/Rhianna scandal, Phonte explains how domestic violence happens in the home and what women and men can do to prevent it.
Kelis “Get Along With You”
RZA “Domestic Violence”
Tanya Morgan “So Damn Down”
The Beastie Boys “Root Down”
The Swingle Singers “Fugue In C Minor (Todd Terje Edit)”
Jaffa “Elevator (The Herbaliser Remix)”
Bottom Fly “Wave #019″
Illa J “DFTF”
14KT “Ypsilanti”
8th1W “A Fool’s Lullaby (Could It Be)”
Carlitta Durand “You Got Me (Pt. 1)”
Reggie B & Miles Bonny “My Sunshine”
Black Harmony “Don’t Let It Go To Your Head”
Mr. Scruff “Give Up To Get”
Afta-1 “Escape”
Koop “Summer Sun (Markus Enochson Remix)”
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (74.5MB)
42 Comments
Cool beans. Aaliyah was so talented. A person I both admire and miss. It’s such a shame what happened to her. The original painting I own of her is stunning and will be cherished forever!
Where can I find the track “My Sunshine”? I need that in my life.
this was perfect! thanks!
I agree with you that the media jumps too quickly to lynch celebraties like Chris Brown when he appears human and weak for a moment. But that is the nature of fame if you with your z-list celebrity status phonte did anything the mass media in your home and the nets would probably go in on you. Once you become a public figure that is one of the draw backs to fame.
But the whole cut Chris Brown slack argument is weak at best did he not work hard to become a icon to young people? After creating this character he goes and does something as left field as domestic violence. Which sends the wrong signal to young girls their are actually young women going around saying oh girl deserved it. That shit is primitive and barbaric when we resort to physical fighting you are resorting to
the lowest common denominator it is like a mini war with an individual. You should reserve fighting of any kind to a defense like position and stay away from people who hope to do you harm. But if you are one of the people who simply want to fight because of heated arguments or what you deem as disrespect you have some growing up to do. That shit is never worth it and part of being an adult and growing up is learning that truth. If you want to do me physical harm then you bring the ass whooping I dish out to you on yourself but if I just flip in the heat of argument or disagreement I need to find something better to do with my anger.
Secondly, To perserve order in society you have to agree on some rules. The balck community has been crushed by so called war on drugs and the effects drugs have had on the black family. So we have lost a lot of respect for ourselves and our structure. But one thing that needs to be set in stone is do not hit women (Note: if you are stupid enough to fall for a serial killer like broad who is trying to murder you or a crazy ass ghetto chick who has a big ass but looks and acts like a dude in drag you may have to fight to save your life). But you need to not get in a situation as a man or stay in a situation that you feel like you need to hit a woman.
Memo to young men and old:
Women will nag you and get on your nerves sometimes but get this sometimes they are right if you look at it and sometimes they are wrong. But just make sure you mess with women that compliment yourself emotional and mentally because when you start simply looking for a girl with Ass like Joe Buddens girl then that could come with all kinds of drama and when you get fed up then you need to leave not whoop her ass. It is better to walk away from a woman than hit her that continues a destructive cycle in our community of disrespect for women that needs to be broken. If a woman destroys your property leave call 5-0 and let them do their job, if you don’t trust them then just leave and don’t come back. Having relationships is a grown up thing and part of it is learning to properly deal with discourse in a rational manor. There is never an excuse to simply hit someone and act as if that solves a problem and if you feel like you need to hit seek anger management.
P.S. fuck R Kelly his music was always wack to me but hey reagonomics killed music programs in school so the hood don’t know what’s good.
This was the 1st show of yours that I was disappointed with. Some of the songs were unsettling and the commentary of DV was kinda shitty.
I’m glad you addressed the topic but dude, just cuz Sean Connery says it’s okay to smack a woman doesn’t mean it’s okay. Yes indeed women can provoke. And the way to deal with that is to walk away & find a woman who doesn’t need to do that. It’s unhealthy to push someone, but two wrongs, as in smacking the person pushing you, doesn’t make it right.
If someone is provoking, pushing, being unhealthy, then walk the fawk away. Don’t allow someone to put their crazy on you & if you let a woman or a man act like that to you, you are the one with the real issue and trying to “control” the situation by hitting just shows you want some drama in your life.
Gordon keep on doing what your doing though. At least you get conversations started & that’s really important!
~F
Well said my nig, but another factor that doesn’t get much dicussion is the fact that you have alot women that jump on their men
I read the comments that site your comments on being provoked as a problem and while they do have valid points, I do not see a problem with your comments. I do not think that any man or woman should “ever” strike anyone. With that being said as a woman I know that we can be a trip at times and our attitudes and the way that some women put down men can provoke a man who can not handle that type of verbal assault. I think domestic abuse, conflict or whatever goes both ways and I am in no way making excuses but we cannot be judgemental of the way this young man handled himself without being in his situation. Second, I wasn’t there and I do not know what happened but if he did strike her, that does not take away from his successes as an artist. I still love his music, I just may think twice about entering into a relationship with him.
Phonte, Brainchild, the playlist was on point as usual.
However, as other people have mentioned, ‘Te’s discussion of provocation concerns me greatly. There was a lot of cozy, male in-group hinting in that delivery. Your admissions that domestic violence is wrong became tainted, if not undermined, by your suggestion that the response (battery) is a, perhaps unfortunate, rejoinder to a specific “cause.”
If domestic violence is, at its core, an abuse of power, it seems to me fairly misguided to attempt to understand that abuse by pointing out its provocation. Abuse itself suggests an excess that falls beyond logical response.
Yelling, screaming, cursing…par for the course of an argument.
Beating the your partner bloody…far outside the realm of dispute.
I think you were on the right track with your examination of Breezy’s personal history. But, you fell off the track when you pressed on with the language of “causation.”
You smothered your own opportunity to empathize with female victims of DV with this language of “cause” and with the “Ion’t know” clause–the logic that says since you don’t know the facts, you can’t empathize with a battered woman.
Big up Phonte & BrainChild,keep up the good work.
Mister Rage….London…UK.
Man.. this was SO on point that I done told folks that aint got compters to go get them one so they could listen. One thing I will ad is that in all the noise surrounding CB and RhiRhi – maybe finally we will have a discussion about DV. meaning both ways, men on women and women on men.
Love the music.
Note on the DV commentary:
You know I love you Tay, but you’re kind of oversimplifying the issue. You’re also speaking of provocation, which, of course someone should defend themselves or just grow the fuck up and not wild out when provoked. That goes for whether a man OR a woman hits a man. People just have different ways of dealing with getting so-called provoked.
Domestic Violence, however, is more of a mindset that it’s okay to exert power and control over an intimate partner using violence. It’s come out that this was not an isolated event between CB and Rhianna. So provocation is not even necessary for a person who is going to abuse you in that way.
In regards to her not leaving him… well after working with DV victims/survivors I can say that it is NOT that simple like “just leave then”. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.
I really think people should either have this much to say about ALL incidents of intimate partner violence or they should give CB and Rhianna some privacy.
Brainchild and my niggalo tiggallo, on point yet again.
“Cuz, if you think the ish that I said after I’m calm hurt your feelings, you don’t even wanna know the ish I was about to say 2 days ago. Count your blessings when you get ‘em goddamit.”
The WHOLE truth and nuthin but…
your show had me in tears, luv the show, keep up the good work
Playlist bananas. Commentary on point. Phonteezy, you been here before my nig. . .that’s old soul ish!
Phonte, GREENSBORO in the house, REPRESENT, WESTERN GUILFORD LOL….
I agree with what was said by most. VCF hit the nail on the head by pointing out that celebrity on celebrity violence is the hypocrisy. We don’t know what Rhianna did to provoke him, if anything at all. Take it anyway you want to, but my mother always told me that if a woman is bold enough to hit a man she needs to get a mean three-piece with a couple sides. When a woman raises her hand to a man, she relinquishes any concession or special privilege a woman would receive, normally. I’m all for stepping off in a stressful situation, but some folks won’t let things go. That’s just my take on it.
Great show. I agree that last track is crazy, it made me go find that album!
Thanks for the new show, that last track on episode 12 is crazy..
so glad you guys are back with a new episode..excellent topics..and EXCELLENT music and commentary as always
peace~
Awesome episode guys!
But there are 3 sides to each story.
1) His side
2) Her side
3) The Truth
I also feel guilty for spending this much time on the issue SIMPLY BECAUSE, if Rhianna was not a celebrity, this would be water under the bridge.
However, the case should be studied and we all need to find “teachable moments” from the situation.
Phonte’ said “Her chokes got CHOKIER”…LOL!!!
Classic episode….me and wifey listened to Big ‘Te droppin the knowledge.
Cheers from NC,
CBIII
[...] Gartrell Radio ep.12 [via GGR (who are sporting a fresh new [...]
Damn….uncle Te’ droppin the knowledge once again…..much respect Dj Brainchild and phonte..Gordon Gatrell >>>
Clif Soulo
Words of Wisdom at the end, caught some flashbacks with that one.
We’ve always done that Dukes!
Great show once again. And I am glad you put the artist and songs now. Because I’ve like some songs but never knew which artist to look for.
right on about how the media is browbeating Chris Brown…
Excellent show…. that Reggie B joint is a killa
I totally agree w/your comments. I’m so tired of everyone painting her as a saint, when we don’t know the whole story.
Um, I think you have some points on this one, but you’re missing some important ones as well.
I must admit that I’m convinced that CB assaulted Rihanna. He admitted as much in his apology. But this is only a “story” because it happened between two celebrities. If there were video of R.Kelly peeing on Aaliyah, he’d be in jail right now. That’s the hypocrisy here.
While I understand that every brother has his “limit,” we’re still responsible for when we choose to go over the line. She could have spit in that nigga face, but we all know that you don’t go to jail for that shit. Beating someone will land you there. Bottom line.
Lastly, the ways most men “deal” is not dealing, but avoiding. Just because we’re taught that our feelings don’t mean anything don’t mean they’re meaningless.
Maybe brothers should try to talk every once in a while, before everything builds up. Even T-Pain can admit that folk need “Therapy.”
Okay, have listened to the commentary now. Again, definitely want to commend you for discussing domestic violence…period. Since the situation with Chris Brown and Rhihanna has been all over the news, it seems like none of the media outlets have used the story as a “teachable moment” or to discuss/inform folk about domestic violence as a whole.
Teen dating violence is something we as a society do not talk about (not that we’re that great about talking about domestic violence either) – but 1 in 3 teen girls experience some type of abuse (physical/verbal/emotional) in romantic relationships (according to the Break The Cycle website). I mention this because I was more disturbed by this because they are so young.
Interesting perspectives expressed, especially the part about men being taught early on that their feelings don’t mean anything.
Very beneficial/necessary podcast!
Damn Tay. I feel like you read my mind with this episode. I’m goin through some bullshit right now & I’ve just become work obsessed. Good shit man, good shit.
Great show!!! I was just listening to Bobby Digital last week. Thanks for getting me thru this thursday
Good looks on the smaller file size.
Listening now. Haven’t heard the commentary, but glad that domestic violence is being discussed.
I agree with your commentary. There are two sides to every story.
Making my day yet again!! Big ups!
tanya morgan is my cousin!
koop… word.
The RZA joint was classic haven’t heard that in a minute
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